Arthur: This really is a healing place! Thanks for listening. I am feeling much better now. Just typing it out and having someone care helps so much. I always am looking at this board and give a few comments. I figured it was time I opened up and shared a little with all of you my pain. I know I am not alone here. Thank you Simon for this board. It has helped so many to freedom in so many different areas of our lives!
I am off to bed now. I thank you all for taking the time to read and respond! Kitten Whiskers
kitten whiskers
JoinedPosts by kitten whiskers
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20
Just got off the phone with my mom and I feel weak from the emotions.
by kitten whiskers innothing major happened, i have just noticed that she doesn't say she loves me anymore.
i used to find it annoying.
i always felt like she only said it to guilt me into having to say that i loved her.
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kitten whiskers
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20
Just got off the phone with my mom and I feel weak from the emotions.
by kitten whiskers innothing major happened, i have just noticed that she doesn't say she loves me anymore.
i used to find it annoying.
i always felt like she only said it to guilt me into having to say that i loved her.
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kitten whiskers
Ex-nj-jw:
I just went back and read your threads. I have been following your story and can't believe that after what you've been through, I should have complained at all. You are a truly strong and loving person to reach out and comfort me when you are experiencing a horrible time right now. You are not only courageous, loving and sweet...you are a fighter! You get knocked down, but you get up again. (They're never gonna keep you down! That song is running through my head!!!) I love that you were able to laugh at your mother's insanity. I pictured you reading outside by the mailbox and could almost hear you laugh!
I can't wait to hear your next update. That was a horrible letter to endure, but I'm sure the picture of you was CUTE! Probably similar to one I took of my daughter at age 2 all dressed up for service holding a special campaign tract. It was her first official day of going door to door. Poor baby. I seriously wonder how much literature is actually being printed and sent to family that doesn't want it! We've gotten the new book from the district convention and several magazines and tracts from my in-laws. The fear that the organization holds over jw's with armageddon is their version of hell and fire and brimstone! It is a religion based on fear. She is dealing with her own eventual death that was never supposed to happen, and scared to a near nervous breakdown probably. It really is a wonder we aren't all in the funny farm. I seriously felt like I was going to lose it going through the process of leaving. So much fear and uncertainty. It takes a strong person to leave of their own free will. I am so proud of you taking the steps you did at such a young and vulnerable time of your life. Your son can be nothing but proud of you and thankful his mother cared so much. If he doesn't see it now, he will later. You have courage and heart my dear. I am so glad you are happy.
(((ex)))Kitten Whiskers -
20
Just got off the phone with my mom and I feel weak from the emotions.
by kitten whiskers innothing major happened, i have just noticed that she doesn't say she loves me anymore.
i used to find it annoying.
i always felt like she only said it to guilt me into having to say that i loved her.
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kitten whiskers
Thanks all of you!
Hortensia: Thank you for the kind words of encouragement and the hope for the future of my little family.
Madame Quixote: I am so sorry. I know your pain. My sister and I were never close. We are the only two children. I have told her a few times I love you, and she responded with "uh-huh." I think you are right. She has issues. I know there is an anger strain in our DNA that I inherited too. I had problems with getting stressed and depressed all the time. My medication has changed that. I am not different, I just don't go into stress overload like I used to. If she had gotten medication when I was little maybe things would be different. I don't know. She had me when she was twenty. So young herself. Thank you for saying her actions were never about me. That helps a lot.
ex-nj-jw: I think I remember your story. Didn't you move in with your girlfriend's family for a year? If that was you, wow. You really impressed me. I can't believe how much courage you had at such a young age. My heart went out to you as I read your experience. I will look it up again. I absolutely love that your babies still love on you! That was always my dream. I envisioned 3 or 4 boys loving their mama when they were growing into young men. I got one boy and one girl. The best of both worlds. My little guy loves to cuddle and I am sure one day his wife will thank me! So will your daughters-in-law! My mother-in-law always said how much my hubby loved to cuddle and touch her skin when he was little-that has been an added perk for me! wink, wink! Congratulations on your success!
Twitch: Thank you. I will take pride in that. I do believe they will be very good people. I want them to love each other too when they are grown and always emphasize how they are the only siblings they have and we must always be there for each other and love one another. The oldest is able to see the destructiveness of the cult. I don't hide things from her, I try to protect them both, but I gently have conversations with her about why certain people aren't talking to us and how that isn't what we should do. It was very hard on her when my mother wouldn't come into our house. She didn't understand what was going on completely, but over the months, we have talked gently about it and honestly. I don't want them to be brainwashed and scared to death by their grandparents later. I figure our conversations are now laying a foundation for their defenses to go up if they ever try.
Thanks again for taking the time to read and respond. I really don't try to let this get to me. I just have noticed that she doesn't do this anymore. I have tried to turn my emotions off to her for a long time. I guess it's something we are just born with. That connective desire. Thank you for the hugs too. I really needed them.
((((all)))) Kitten Whiskers -
14
Grrr Mother in law strikes again
by KW13 inlast night megan was having what appeared to be labour again, so while i was upstairs megans mum said 'are you sure you want karl in the labour room with you, i can be there' just because she wants her to get the experience.
fortunately for her i was told about this while i was out because i'd of seriously lost it, i was angry but mostly hurt and upset.
wtf is that all about?
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kitten whiskers
Oh I am so sorry! You make sure you're there for Megan! I was so glad my hubby was there. He was the only one I wanted. I didn't even want anyone in the waiting room! I always feel pressure to entertain and make others comfortable. This was one time I didn't want to worry about keeping anyone there for hours and not performing a quick birth. It is a most personal and sacred occasion.
I don't know much about your mother-in-law, I am just hoping that because you are so young ( I am assuming Megan is too) that she is worried about her baby having a baby. I can only imagine how scary it must be to worry about your child going through labor. I hope it isn't just that she wants to be a glory hog! Don't let her push you out of your rightful place. Father's today are different from 20 years ago. It is natural for people to expect the father in the delivery room now. We've come a long way baby!
Kitten Whiskers (of the excited to see new baby KW pictures class!) -
20
Just got off the phone with my mom and I feel weak from the emotions.
by kitten whiskers innothing major happened, i have just noticed that she doesn't say she loves me anymore.
i used to find it annoying.
i always felt like she only said it to guilt me into having to say that i loved her.
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kitten whiskers
Nothing major happened, I have just noticed that she doesn't say she loves me anymore. I used to find it annoying. I always felt like she only said it to guilt me into having to say that I loved her. She never really showed or acted like she did while I was growing up. She used to say some pretty hurtful and mean things to me. Even when I was doing everything I could as a jw teenager, pioneering and being a good girl, she would then act jealous and it would show. She was mean no matter.
When I didn't know what to do with my life because paradise wasn't here like promised, I had never given any thought to a career and snubbed my nose at the idea of even a technical college...she would tell me to get a life. She would say that when I was gone, the house was so much nicer. It was just her and dad. Her best friend, my bestfriend's mom would tell me, "She doesn't mean it. She's gonna miss you when you are gone." I would think, "Yeah. Right. She's never going to wish I was around." I seriously thought of dying so many times. If it wasn't for my love of Jehovah and grandma I just might have driven into a bridge on my way home from work. I hated going home.
Thankfully I met the man of my dreams "in the truth" and we married. He really swept me off my feet. I was lucky to find him! My grandma says it's the only good thing that came out of the two of us being witnesses! We were able to find each other.
Here I am 11 years later. Happy, free and married with children of my own. We always tell each other we love each other and give lots of hugs and kisses to each other. I never knew children would want to hug and snuggle with their mother so much! I don't remember ever feeling this way about my mother. I just remember the expected kiss when we left for school and a kiss goodnight before bed. A habit that was expected of us and we performed. But my kids actually want to kiss me and do it on their own. I am lucky I know. I constantly think of how blessed I am. But, I wish I had that relationship with my mother. I am happy I can give that to our kids. But I miss it.
Earlier this year, while visiting us for several days, my mother decided to shun me. She sat in her motorhome in my driveway ignoring me and hubby and not entering our home. My dad is not a jw and he visited with us. But it was enough to kill me. I was a prisoner in my house and couldn't stand being there because she was sitting in my driveway shunning me. She didn't even look at me when they pulled away to continue their trip. She cut me off for about 3 months. My dad would call and talk to me. But she wouldn't say a word. Then while we were up at my grandma's during a family crisis, she started talking to me. She said she decided she could talk to us. (Probably because we're not officially disfellowshipped or disassociated). It has been 4 months. She will talk on the phone and we actually stayed with my parents during vacation. She acts civil and speaks to me. She doesn't try to change my mind about what I believe now, but she doesn't say she loves me at all. I know this is more than a lot of you out there have right now. I know some of you had very close relationships with your parents and mourn the loss of them. I guess I am mourning the absence of one at all. Thanks for reading my pity party of one. I just needed someone to talk to . Thank you for listening.
Kitten Whiskers -
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What are you reading?
by Hortensia init's rather quiet on the jwd forum tonight - probably you are all out partying, eh?
i'm wondering what's in the pile of books by your chair or bed?
i have a couple of mysteries, robert barnard's newest one and a really old arthur upfield.
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kitten whiskers
Books:
Crisis of Conscience by Raymond Franz
Pride and Prejudice
Everyday Blessings Spiritual Refreshment for Women by Rebecca Currington (from the local Christian Book Store)
Children of the Bible ( a small paperback, reading it to the kids)
Heidi (reading it with my daughter)
A Hardback novel my mother-in-law gave me (can't remember the title, I keep it in the vehicle)
Magazines:
Paula Deen's Holiday Issue
Country Living
Reader's Digest
Reminisce
Country Woman
Country (farm and country life experiences) -
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Share a joke/Say something funny/Be Stupid thread
by KW13 insomeone posted this on my site...thought it was funny.. in 1986, mike hogan was on holiday in kenya after graduating from.
northwestern university.
on a hike through the bush, he came across a. young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air.
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kitten whiskers
Did you hear the one about the dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac?
He stayed up all night wondering if there really was a dog. -
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The Artist in His Studio
by fedorE insaw this and wanted to share .
this painting titled, the artist in his studio: designing birds, is my contribution to the intelligent design debate (the second image is a detail from the painting).. .
leonardo davinci noted how patterns in nature are repeated in many areas.
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kitten whiskers
<br><br>I was totally blown away by your artistic ability and creativeness. You are very talented and cause others to think outside of the box! Thank you for sharing! It is clear you put a lot of thought and effort in your art, subject and painting!
<br><br>Kitten Whiskers -
34
First apple pie of the season!
by Cellist inthis is something we look forward to every year, when the apples are ready.
we have quite a few apple and crabapple trees.
this is off our newest crabapple tree.
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kitten whiskers
Oh that looks sooooooooo good! Yummy!
I love the china too! I had a small bowl of it I had purchased from a sale. I kept my butter in it.I loved it, but it broke! Your table looks so pretty with the linen too! I've never tried a crab apple pie. I bet it's good! It makes me think it must have a tangy taste, like rhubarb pie.
I miss the apples from the north! We're from Michigan and always went to our favorite orchard. There are no apples like those grown in the north where the cool crisp nights work their magic!
Enjoy the fruit of your labor!!!!!
Kitten Whiskers -
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I Need a Sermon--I'm starving for some spiritual food!
by journey-on injust a sentence or two....something to stimulate my spiritual brain cells?
please don't make me turn on tbs, or worse, go to the kh!!!
something funny would be nice.
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kitten whiskers
Here are two scriptures I couldn't shake. They made me question the way we as jw's were taught. They helped me leave.
Matthew 18:20
Jesus said,"Where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them."
Hebrews 5:9
Once made perfect, (Christ) became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him.
Jesus is there for us. The slant we were taught on these scriptures doesn't match the spirit of these scriptures. He is with any two or three, not just jw. He is the source of salvation to all who obey. Not for only those who are jw's, and following their rules. There are so many people out there who genuinely love God and worship him and live their lives according to the bible. The songs that praise him and mention him in the country music I like to listen to, always made me realize how heartfelt these "worldly" people felt. How was that wrong? It's not. Their faith is real and I loved to listen to it. I hope this helps. Don't do anything crazy, like going to the k. hall.